JB.

my true feelings.

11pm otp with you;
DEAREST WAN,
1. Why am I always quarelling with Wan?
2. What am I doing with guys pdhl i hate guys?
3. Why am I and dad like strangers?
4. What am I to Wan?
5. Am I ready for r/sp?
6. Should I change cus i want ppl to accept me?
7. What is love?
8. Do these ppl even need me?
Wan. I know you love me. I do too but suddenly i felt different cus i just feel we are not meant t be. You and i are like two different people. You love sweet gerls & just too bad, i am not. My life is filled with black dots. I am not good. You dont like it but why are you still sticking around me. I just cant bear to hurt you by making you wait for me to change. I just know tt it'll take a superrr long time. Eversince you said abt my attitude we have been quarreling. Ie am tired. I want t be happy. Yes u do make me happy bt its been long since u last put a smile on my face. I da tk happy. Instead im always STRESSED UP. Alaaaa, im just nt the perfect gerl your looking for. Why cant ue accept the way i am. Ie just read ur facebook just nw. U wrote smtg abt my attitude. Ah, Whatever. Ie can forgive but nvr foget what u said t me. Its very hurting. Well, ie guess ie just dowanna b in a r/sp nw. Ie da malas uh cus ppl cant accept me. Ie mean if ue love or like me, well accept me the way ie am. Yesterday, ue feel like crying cus ue saw ur exdate. Herms, still think abt other gerls. Well, ie will think abt other guys then. Bt pls, im not that type of gerl, ie dont flirt around. Best friends only. The guys who claim t like me, ie dont even know if they are serious. Well, senang je. Nk, stick, tnk brambos. I dont know, being in love is just temporary. I dont mind ppl not loving me. Im just a simple gerl. Yeap, thats what ie am. I love the ppl who accept me. The best thing bout ue is that ue always dont layan my mesg-es and calls when ue angry w me. Ie feel like ue are such an unpredictable guy, come and go. It makes me feel so insecure. One day, you'll just leave me just like tt like other guys. Idk what t do. Ie wish ue were here now. U, where are you? imysm. i have no one else.

LastdayOfApril

Today ie woke up morning at 6, just to tell mum tt ie gg out Ite Macp to take entry test. Arghhh. Asked for ezlink psl da tkde duet. Bank got money ahhhh but if everytime take out pokai seh. Mampos! Then mummy asked if ie got duet blanje. Ie actually dowan take money from her but she give me, then ie take. So, aft that actually wanted sleep but mesg SA tnye sal entry test for ite but SA said ie must have nlevel at least tpi ie tkdeh! So ie tk g ite mac bt meet Akyie at AMK to lepak. Haiyo, kecoh pe. Ckp ie mcm minahrep. WTH! org change alr, still nk comment. But nvm, lucky he nvr say harshly. Took mrt to amk. Smpi saner jmpe at waterfountain at amk. He's always late when he meet me. Aseq ade hal jehs. Nyarie pon. We go sit under void deck, talk. He offer me cigg but ie nvr smoke. One puff jeh. What Akyie said is true, Why Am I Even Trying To Change? Just be who i am. Then go jalan2 at Amk, we laughed alot. Went back to void deck he angry with me cus ie always kacau him until he angry then ie syiok sendirik take pic with his cap. Haha, want take pic with him then he angry. Then at around 6 we fight again then he walk off. I follow him and he send me bustop. Ie call Wan ask him if he want meet me but he dont want. Aiyo! Ie go home lor and ie drop wrong stop. SA at least have the heart to call me cus ie ask SA call me and we talked so long. Ie go buy Green Milk Tea, penat tau walk from Srgn to Hgg. Nvm, SA ily laah teman me otp. Then go home, mum sick. Ie stress ah, binget. Fuckkkkk uh, bising ah! Tmrw gg JB super lazy seyh. For wad sia go there. Take bus somemore. Ie malas man. Tadi ie terperasan tt dad looked at me and ie look away kite cam stranger seyh. Ie nk dok dlm laah. Out here siannnnn. Binget ah. These few days pon ie ASEQASEQ gadoh ngan wan. Well, like ie said t him before, siape yg dtg rumah ie mesti smtg happen. Nie lagy kiterh lom mataer. Asl eh? Ie stress ah! Kalau leh nk matie skg jgak. Malas uh nk g skola, nk aleq pon no mood. Ie just want t be alone. Wan, im tired of fighting. Your nt the person ie knew in the first place. SA cpat online! 10pm

S A blanje GELARE (:

Nana now feeling tireeeeddd! Im soory Wan for not fetching you tudae cus im lyke SUPER TIRED uhs. Da pki dress, high heels whatever whatever walk ard downtown. Ie v tired seyh. So actually, ie woke up early tudae at 10 plus. Then talked to Wan otp for a while & then go bathe and kua. Wasssehhhh, penat tau tunggu SA at Pasir Ris inter, so talked to Wan otp jaaappp. Wah, while waiting ie lyke dunt feel well. Saqet ahs! Tkpe, skalie ie nmpk SA! pki baju ITE peeeee bby. Haha! Then kiterh nak naeq 3 bt we dunt noe where its leading to. So took another bus gp there. BEN&JERRY tkde seh ): Da tutop. Sedeh pe. Then, SA brought me to EHUB mamam Gelare. Sedap, Chocolate Overload. SA got strawberry cheesecake. Eeee! Nana taste it then rase cam basi jehs! Hmpfh! Took pictures but SA nye hp tk powerrrr uh! Tk clear sey! Go change uh hp! Then Plan came down, meet me. Actually, nk meet mum at giant then can go buy barang2 but Plan with me. So, teman her lor. Kite belik baju three quarters. Warne green and puteh, got star. Wow kape! Dala, aq mls nk pki dress penat uh jadie GERLY GERL! tgk ah klau free2 aru pakai, hehe(: Well, then ie mcm nk rompak jeh nie kedai sia. But naseb iman kuat laahs seyh! NOBODY WAS THERE AT ALL! kecoh. aderh HOtHOt skirt. Got this matrep sia careq psl, WAH fanatic giler. Nana tk heran uhs. Then we went whitesands, met Plan's friend. Lepak. Wow, Nana tk pki stud, tk pki cam minah, bbual rilek for the first time. ( i am not a minah ) Then ie DINT SMOKE excluding the stick that plan offered. aru 1-2 stick jehs. tk byk. nk QUIT! then akyie called me, talk t me. But put down cus ie say ie nvr eat. Herms, he told me tt he nvr cntct any other gerls xcept me. Cnferm pe? Haha. Well, dyeh tuh baeq, slalu there for me when im down. Tpi dyeh SEYH uh, tkde sen tknk jmpe nana. Well, nothing much t say. Im just not ready for a r/sp. Idk ie just prefer being alone but ie dont mind sacrificing things for the person ie love seyh. Ie dont need ppl to love me, bt if they want t go ahead. Wth ie talking mannnnsssxxx. Mabok pe Nana! Agh, im just pissed off w ppl around me. Wah, kxian ah akyie hope he gets money for both his laser and obat. Ie will treasure him before anything happens though he's not even my mataer. Bilerh ny nak bgy chocolate Wan? He's favourite color is blue, wan buy smtg for him ahs. (: ILY. Well, went hm, no food interest me. Ie hate home cooked food. Nk mkn Mac jehs. Then Epul called, ajak minum next friday. See how uhs. Nk change uh bby. Hais. Im tired. Tunggu Wan online berjam2 seyh! Well, ie dont really know if im changing for good. But slowly laahs. Ie am just a normal girl. 1120PM April2910 - if only he was here in my heart -

on my moments of sadness.

28042010,8:35Pm
SABRINA ILY more than anyone does, nt even Ariffin can replace me cuzzin(:

thanks babe for being there for me when ie was totally down, thats why ie sayang ue laah seyh!
im here back home finally. WoW! my tuesday sucked. Nana now want be goodgirl, ie dont want to make the person ie love disappointed and angry with me. Im sorry, ie didnt know my attitude sucked tt much. Ie want t change but it will take time ryte? Oke, yst met Wan in the afternoon, ie dont want to say what happened. Let it go. Then yst mkn at S11 aft tt lepaked with Sab Syg, and SA! until morning. Wassssehhh nantok uhs! Then Nana called Wan & he asked me what ie want. Walaaaan, sedeh pe! Then aq dari kecoh2 diam jeh laahs. SA asked why. Ie yst giler one, when kecoh then kecoh but bilerh quiet just kept quiet. Then ie like wan fall asleep alr, but ie tahan. SA and Sab busy talking, forget me! Sob. SA, Sab I HATE YOU! ): Tklaaahh, bluff jehs! SA nie busy bbual psl bini dyeh jeh. Ie dont want masok campo. Im just outsider. Sab plak aseq ckp aq giler! Alamakkk, whats wrong wif everyone bby? They keep saying ie giler! Aq tk giler luhs! SA tmrw blanje me ben&jerrys seyh! Thanks SA ily laah:D Today ie SOT GILER laahs seyh! Ie had t reach hm at 2pm. So dad took me at tamp, cus ie was superrr tired t take bus! Haiya! Then went ICA building. Ie was totally pissed off seyh, had to follow go there. Pdhl, ie nk tido tau! Nvm, sabar jeh Nana! Wan called me like so the finally, asked me where ie was & he wanted me t buy smtg. Ape ehs? Herms, he nvr told me. Then he put down & Akyie called. Ie talked to him so the sopan for first time. Da lah, Nana da serik laah nk kurang ajar. Ie told Akyie ie stopped smoking. IDK laah, after we put down ie kept thinking. Kalau Nana goodgerl mesti sweet. Entahlah? Im not ready. Kasi lah nana go for laser session ferst, change btol2. Herms, Girls Home called. Asl? Ie tk tau? Okee, im tired actually. SA say true. Ie must rest from everyone. SA said ie look strong but actually weak. Stop crying for guys. Ie am weak laah SA, im not strong! aq kental giler babi mans! Tmrw me maybe meeting akyie kalau dyeh free. But Confirm SA laah nk blanje me mkn chocolate icecream. Alalalaaaah, syg kawwww! Then bsok mlm jumpe wan. Nana hope ie dont do anything wrong this time round. ILY bby (: cepat aleq tau, GATAL! *huggggggg*

i gotta be strong.

WANN said (Yesterday at 10:40 PM):
Wahh I really don't know what to do !!!
WANN said (Yesterday at 10:42 PM):
But my heart say I love you!! But I don't know why!! I think couse of ur attitude!! I just want u to change..but I can't force really!! U right too..tats ur attitude!! But it really make me hurt when I see ur attituede like tat ar!! Haissss!!!
thanks for bloody hurting me by saying you dont like my attitude. Wahhh, hurt seyh. No one has ever commented abt my attitude even my family. Ur the first. & someone ie love? Gosh. It hurts like a million thousand cuts on my heart. Ie just knew smtg wasnt right somewhere and tadddaaa! Kena shoot sraight in the face. Thank you ehh. Ie sayang ue ahh. Its my fault. Tuh lah, tuh psl jantan tnk aq. Psl prangai aq mcm sial! Naseb laah, ie still got friends hu can accept me for hu ie am. Aiyo! Its my fault laah for doing things tt im not supposed to do. Then ue suddenly nvr lyn me, ie was like WTH. Then when ie asked you why, you said ntg. And then it was actually psl prangai ie. Was, saqet hati seh ue. Then as usual, everytime ie ade problems ie blang akyie. Kebetulan matrep call. Wa Caya Sama Lu! Then ie ask him why ppl cnnt accept me? & why he want lyn someone so SEYH like me. Then tros he tuka topic cus he dont like ask me tt qn. When ie relate abt Wan dnt lyke my attitude, ie said its my attitude. He pon say ie can change my attitude. Alamak! He another one, make my blood go upstair. Who teach one? Akyie laah(: Haha. Aiyo! Somebody wan blanja me ben&jerry today! Happy seh aqu. Yelah, "SA" sayang aq mahhhh. Okie luh, ie nvr go hm yst so ie lepak with sab& SA at tamp yst. Hais after so long at last meet SA. hehe, aseq videocall tk meet. Yela, dyeh busy ngan bini dyeh ajehs. Jealous argh Nana! So now, SA kene punish blanja me. Haha! Yst me and Sab, took alot of pics. Ltr when im at hm, i'll update. Hais, sedeh seyh when ie call Wan, he nvr answer. Adoi. For now, ie just forget Wan. Ie dowan be hurt. ALL GUYS ARE BASTERD! okie, ltr ie go hm nk renew passport. pstu 1 may nana wan go JB. 2nd May ie kua ngan sab, SA, Nur gi orchard & bugis shopping. ArGH! forget everything! Cepatlah g skool ie am sick and tired of outside life. HURT! ARGH! SA, ie knw ue want me, ie knw ue want me! HAHA :D ie love my life nw, Free & Easy! Ie still do love you- Im gg hm now. 28042010 2:05Pm

Where'd You Go?

SAD! if you are reading this im sad, YEAH! crazy-ly sad. thanks for todday. ie know ie wasnt my ownself bt im sorry. Well, ie may nt be on my own mind. But ie realize everything ie said. Ie love you. Is it that hard to believe? Wo Ai Ni. If you dont like my attitude im soory. Im this way. Take it or leave it. Im not a minah or what but ie talk like this. Ryte nw, at this point of time, my heart only has you, Syazwan. Ie cinterhkan ue. Its up t ue to believe, im not at home nw. Im using wireless somewhere t update my blog. Hais. Omg! Why am ie crying over smone who doesnt care abt me? Stupid ryte? I know. Well, Kalau Org Tk Sudi Tk Mengapa. Wan, its really okie. Bt if ue wanna stay away from me TELL ME! i l y ie gotta go now. im sorry, ie have no one else except you. Waiting for you! ♫ Baby-Justin Biebier 27april 8pm