IMYSM.

dear bbydino, im now waiting for ur text then ill call ue. i really miss ue, its been like decades tt we've last spend time together and ie feel very miserable seyh bby. today im really glad t send ue t werk though im ver sleepy as i reach hm only after 11 every night. hais. but im happy tt things between us is improving. lesser fights, and at least we talk otp everyday after work. hais. & nana very notty always use the workplace phone call bby. ); ie feel like crying. ie wanna b with him but i cant. actually ie dont even have any intention t break up but ie dont want t neglect him. let nature takes its course. b, when want t buy house for us both? hehe. 2 more days t bie's bdae. ie cant wait t spend time with him. da request off, da dpt(: ie hope ie can really make him happy on his bdae. hais. working at bbq is oke but closing is super tired as we have t throw rubbish, clear all the mess etc, but its alright. at least i can do smtg useful rather than stay home doing nothing right? well, SA collected tix from me yst so ive got money t settle my pay for order. im so busy and ie havent finished my project which i have t b done with by june. b, i miss you so much laahs. hais.
I WANNA BE YOUR ONLY ONE ALWAYS.

busy.

busy schooling and working. will not be frequently adding posts.
to syazwan- dont worry ill always be there for you(:

WTF.

Please Syazwan, Let me Go if you have other girls. Atiqah? Pls dont hurt me, i dont mind, i am nobody t stop you from gg on with other girls. In the first place, why did you text her right? Asal u marahkan ie sedangkan u yang buat salah. Ive always been giving in to you cus ie dont want to ruin our r/sp. Psl my past dont talk abt it, da lamer sey criter, sedangkan pompan tuh its happening now in the present. So can see the diff? You tk suke when ie mesg other guys, but FYI they are my friends and i know them, seen them. Pompan tuh, starting fb, msn, number next step what? Whoa, then it will really hurt me. Really. And that point of time i'll just break down. Thanks for everything. Yst what did u actually wanna say, What If?? What If you liked her? Go ahead Wan. I'll just step aside. Maybe a sweet and nice girl like her is what ue are looking for. I know what type of person you are till u criticize me last time. Im sorry i cant be like her. You spoilt the happiness we were gg through yst. Why now then u tell me? Not last time. Hais. This is why i dont want t get into r/sp cus theres always smtg wrong. Pls, im not like ur other ex that will basterd. Sape yg basted sape dulu? Hah, thanks alot. So all these while what for you get angry when ie said tt you have other girls, isnt it a fact? I thought you said you are nt interested t find other girls, but you did kenal2 with atiqah. And u randomly added girls in FB, you confessed it yourslef. Since u enjoy with your single life, go on. I am no one to stop you, ie dont wanna control u. Pls leave me alone. If you were in shoes, ie think you'll be fuckingx100 more angry. But ie still could keep quiet. Ie dont wanna fight with you, cus everytime we do, it hurts me alot. Maybe u dont feel it. Why do you always have t make me cry and hurt? ): I HATE YOU!

Lonely.

nobody is entertaining me right now. nvm, shall just go sleep. thanks to anyone out there who has gone t sleep w/o me. ie feel v lonely. ahhhh, tkpe nana kan sape ): g laah tido. tadie abg pki laptop, ingat dyeh leh tunggu skalie he talk t me like diffrent like tt. skalie when text him say nothing2 skalie actually psl dyeh kate ' dyeh bbual nqan nana mcm orq bodo ' cus ie nvr reply. sorrrriiieeeeee ): ah, ie cnnt be w/o him. tunngu dyeh aleq tpi tk dpt chat. No Words Can Express My Feeling Now. shudup laah nana ny irrtating nk mmpos. orq nk tido, sudahlah ! ):

school.

tk perlu ey muke nana, mcm good qerl tau. ): sedeh, tkpelah. smlm werk 1st day kt ehub bbq chicken. gerek uh bdk2 dyeh. ade makcik ny quide aku. tk stressful. haikal ny aseq2 kacau aku buat aku confused jeh. haiyo. kene hafal menu seyh! quite tough cus there are many thinqs ie have to rmbr, promotion la, apela. nyarie aft school, lepak kejaaaappp nqan umar, udyn and aizat. ny atas umar nye qambar, kiterh curik2 ameq. send kat udyn. biar udyn tatap qambar dyeh hari2! lol. bodoh nye umar, kacau2, irritatinq nk mmpos. after tt went home, slept til 430 woke up and qot ready for work.  b4 went in bbq.chic. talked to bbyboy otp, hais. when da letak, aru nk mesq dyeh, then ie recieved a text from him. alaaah, cute uh nie SyazwanBbyDinosaur. lol. at werk, sufia helped me alot w the table numbers. wahhh, sian uh keje klau baru2 tk confident sgt. abeh haikal plak aseq kacau aqu, bt in return aq slalu bully terence suroh dyeh tolonq aku. Eh, Aku Tk Jahat Ehs. saje2 kacau org. lol. nyarie bannyyaaakkk customer ): but still im nt tt busy. bt ie rimas cus qot many ppl. then terence punch out, ie also punch out qo hm. baru turon escalator ade orq said asalamulaikum t me, ie smile and walk away. qiler nye orq. smlm da ade orq stare nana. pelik uh orq2 sinie. lol. nyarie minum bubble tea laqi. hari2 minom bilerh ie lapar. psl skrq too busy to eat smtimes.went hm and wait for bby t online. IMYSM LAAH B! ): ie want ue! nobody cn replace ue.

Your Mine.

19May, 1:45pm. Syazwan's. Ily bby.

fetched him from work today then i starting work tmrw at ehub. schools bored but i will try my best not t give up. 4 months jeh. be strong nana! (: waiting for him to reach hm. imy.

RW.

took pay with lisha, wan and akiah at RW. saw cheapboy, Pasito and friend. Vivo saw Boi. Teman them eat at Banquet. Dint meet special cus he was at town. Lepak. Home. Dont feel well ): now waitinq for wan on9 before im gone.

my everything.

TANAK GI SKOLA BESOK!!! ):

today is the last day i'll have super many hours/time to spend with wan as tommorow im back t school as a schoolgirl. hais, ie dont want to go to school psl ie nk keje and be with wan. nanti ie busy macam mane? nanti skalie dyeh pon busy carik perempuan mcm mane? hais, ie scared. ie will surely miss him truckloads. syq, dont gatal2 okies be good. but lesser time with him means, harder to quarrel kan? great(: thursday starting work at bbqchicken at ehub. then nx tuesday posted to kovan alr. great ryte? dpt duet can go shopping. today morning met plan and bieie. bieie syq print gambar utk ie. alaa, cute laah bdk kecik nie. then lepak with them and yaya. yaya gg work. so after lepak all of us separate, they went mrt. ie went bus. btw, pertapis dint give us money. saw my beloved daughter at pertapis, nicole hazimah. doter, mum miss ue so much laah syq! reached ehub for interview. the mrjufri very gerek. cant wait for work. aft interview, proceed to cityhall to meet special. he was still at tpy, so ie pelan2 jalan t mrt. when ie reached mrt, he said he nk siap2 kluar naeq mrt. so ie thought we could reach cthall same time. skalie when ie alr arrived, he said tt he was still waiting for the train. actually ie was veeerryyyy tired but sayang punye psl ie sacrifice. while standinq, ie could sleep. wait and wait and finally dyeh smpi. hais. happy nye aku(: but abit down cus of energy level decreasing. ie kacau him say 1,2,3 abt my blog tag. he said wasnt him. then look serious giler, last2 admit! nvm2, i bully him(: power! simlim nye kedai byk da tutop): sedeh! nk gi makan, so we went jalan find place. we went banquet at this shopping mall. skalie ie ask him why tk byk org, he say good lah. then ie said like this tkde business uh their kedai, then wan said their problem laah! skalie... gi banquet, kedai2 sume tutop! lol. slenger tol, ie da tired. then we go eat at littleindia there hot2 seyh the food. he finish first then syiok sendiri take picture. nie laah wan, tkde keje ameq gambar jehs. then jalan2 at mustaffa center, tengok laptop, hp and baju dyeh. wahhh, byk _______ ! tk suke): tkpeluhs kesian sayang kene bully dgn ie, aseq kene gigit jehs! lol. lucky he nvr slap me. syg me mahhh. then aft that he send me back home as im v tired and gotta go school tmrw. oke, lazy! i miss you so much special! see you soon, ilysm sayang.

make this last.

good morning ppl, fully awaked at last. dint go werk, firstly cus wan and lisha not werking to take care of me. im scared cus im easily influenced. biar nana kene influence dgn dorang due not other peeps. secondly, im lazy to stretch myself out of bed. sedeh, nak duet tpi mls. well, wan mcm _______ (: he's still sleeping. ate nasi and ayam lagi this morning, everyday is the same. yst, to those who chatted with me, im sorry. ie fell asleep. lol. kxian dorang. these few days super tired. tmrw get pay liao(: can meet lisha and wan. lisha, jage mataer kau baeq2 okehs, klau tk bsok tk dpt gaji(: tmrw, tolong laah jgn MrWong suroh g skool. malas, and theres nothing t do at sch tmrw. hais. bt at least udyn and polka will know tt im gg back t sch at last after a month! im not in a schooling mood. 4months jeh. can do many things outside. then i cant alwyas go out. need study and do other stuffs. wan plak, tk dpt skola, abeh dyeh mesti tinggalkan nana g ns. hais, this Pertapis ny make me angry seyh! One month they held my money already, wth. sampai skaranq they say they haven count my zakat $. wasehhh, tts my rights money. later meeting wan at afternoon.

behave.

im very happy t meet wan today. fetch him, ask t buy chocolate fudge, idk whats that! but eventually congratulated myself for getting one at mccafe. specially for my special. took bus home. *irritate him* all day long and he ask me to behave myself and be matured. but im so small (: waited for him t take 136 cus i dont want him t be late for bus. *bite him* LOL. pain seyh wan bite ): imysm, wait for you!

i love you.

THANKS FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS ! (:
fetching wan bby later aft work, imy and ilysm.

dear wan,

hard to explain but i still need your forgiveness. i am not like before, pls talk t me. i miss your voice. i miss your laughter, jokes and everything. i need you, wan bby. im sorry u found a girl lyk me. at least ie told ue the truth, reply me. ):

wannnn (:

heartbeats(:

♥ LOVED ♥

though all the fights,

wan your my only one.

thanks for being patient with me today.

ppl do chanqe aft time.

off to werk these week, so im busy and then next week start sch alrrr ): super tired. qq to sec4nt, thank God means ie have ard 4.5 months of secondary sch, then proceed to ite. omy, cepat lah skola habes. tk sanqqop aku. tired mannn. tmrw have t qo yuyinq sec to buy stuffs but im intendinq t qo werk at RW with lisha, wan and nebs cus we 4 da kena Specially Reserved at Mels & KT ! wowww, lisha yq book. but ie dont want werk at KT psl e chef mcm so the bossy. Mels nye chef qerek and orq2 dyeh friendly laqipon tmpt tk sempit cam KT. haiya, tkpelah, ie really hope can qo werk w them tmrw cus nk spend tyme (: herms, aft that meet wan. anytime he said. today went suntec with mel for interview aqain at jose eber, tpi ie 100% confident not qq werk dere cus its full time kind of thinq and ie qot stupid skool. went with mel, da lamer tk jmpe! met wan awhile to pass stuffs to him as my baq qot many thinqs! berat. hais special today like nvr lyn me, donnoe why ie feel like we driftinq apart. ie miss him. maybe he has chanqed but now he like dont really care abt me. idk, do ie even exist in his life? i miss the old Syazwan. the one who made my simle everyday but nw, looks like im smilinq to myself and ppl miqht think im crazy. then went buqis with mel, bouqht baju for herself and me, and blanje her EVM. tiresome walk ard buqis. wan said no need fetch him aft werk. entala, biar. qive him space. ie also dont like t force ppl. then ie went t meet SA at tamp aft skool. ie today feel hunqry and thirsty whole day so ie bouqht bubble tea. SA tk tau nk lepak ane. wthhh. then keep askinq me to decide, then when ie sit at this particular block tk suke plak cus qot many ppl walkinq around. so we finally went to sit at sab's block. then we talked. ie told SA ie wanted to shave my sideburns. then SA want pick up qirlfie at hqq. so we both went hqq toqether. all the way with SA, ie kept squeezinq SA bones then SA in pain. haha, padan muke! in bus, SA asked for massaqe. wahhh, bully me! SA carried my shoppinq stuffs. *bully back* nanny nanny poo poo! (: then went hair saloon and do my hair, shave sides for 5bucks but they wanted t increase to 16 if ie did more. wahhh nk cheat my money. even this outsider said klau buat kt barber lqy murah. bloody helllll! herms, walked ard see hp's. mahal uh trade in the phone ie want NokiaE63, 130 bucks. cus the oriqinal price of that fone was 220, pdhl my sony fone coss 200 bucks? wahh, puas ati my birthday ie qo and siqn up plan. August 24. cheyyy, bdae orq yq ku syq dtq soon seyh. da tue, on the 1st of June. When i reached home, i miss him badly. Have alwyas been missinq him but now its qettinq too stronq. but i dont know bout him. hais. yeah, we've doinq lesser stuffs toqether. even sms-inq qettinq less, calls only lasts a few minutes a day and sometimes dont even have one call. ie dont know is it my werk im busy with or he chanqe? ie need him by my side, ie lost smbdy alr, next him? hais. imysm. imysm.

mixed feeling.

today afan absconded from girls hm. hais. dy asal kau larie bodoh, abeh ade hati nk kol aku. the other day ie went her werk place and meet her, ie told her ie qot thinq wan tell her. she just called minutes aqo and asked me what ie wanted t tell her. btw, ie was fuckinq SAD tt she ran. ie just want afan t continue her stay in there w/o any extension anymore. dydy, mepek uh kau ny! ie told her ie wasnt waitinq anymore and then her tone chanqed. walauuuweyyy! ie really disappoint her alot. ie was like one fucker qivinq afan false hope, ie shouldnt have promised. then she said, well, ie dont blame ue and ie evr asked ue t move on with life but ue dint want. since ue feel lonely, find a companion. my last words to ue is, "Kalau nmpk kat luar, jqn teqo". whaaattt? ur endinq our special f/sp just lyke tt? arqh, its all my fault for werkinq and not pickinq her up from werk. if ie did, maybe we could talk thinqs out. she said, "ie still rmbr Elmo syq Shesky, tpi since ue want it this way..." i'll not call ue aqain. arqh! stoopid uh. hais. sedeh. tmw qq werk aqain. spendinq time w lisha todae was superb. thanks lisha. ive qot no mood, qq sleep now. hais. thanks for seqalenyeee. will be busy these few days. sorry wn, fr draqqinq feelinqs at you just now.

GUYS.

super tired t upload. but well, just wanna say HELLO to somebody has hurt me these past few days, im off to sleep nw cus qonna werk ltr, ie forqv ue bt ie dont forqet. i miss you.

fight again.

this is whats happeninq in our msn convo nowadays. i hate it! ):

lost both my top priority.

today is mothers day, May9th. well, other ppl may be enjoyinq their times with their mum. but i still feel down. yst ie told wan ie was qonna buy mc breakfast for her today bt ie see like my mum still nvr talk t me. hais. yst texted lisha, and confirm tmrw qq work at RW. so, ie went kovan look for three quarters t wear. then end up lisha said wear kasut, black tee and jeans. then ie da ade except black tee so went heartland grabbed one at new future. then wanted t buy smtq for mum bt cant qet one. so ie went home, thinkinq. these few days ie just wanna cry. ie knw she wants to push me t dad. hais. now shes close t KakLyah, but what t do. she used t call me and text me but now she calls her everytime and doesnt reply my text. hais. AM I INVISIBLE? why is everyone hurtinq and toyinq with my feelinqs? im not a doll. arqh! yst dad talked t me and asked me if ie wanted t run away from home. ie said yes. then he adviced me on and on w many pauses. but ie just kept quiet like a statue. all ie said was, "i am not qq to run", cmon la, ie qot brains t think. even if ie dont come hm, ill just qo and stay sabs hse. & ie dont wanna do those thinqs aqain cus ie wanna prove t smbdy tt ie am really qq to chanqe and dont want disappoint him. even if he does care thouqh. hais. idk. ppl say when two people quarrel their r/sp will qet closer and bondinq stronqer. bt idk, he always picks a fiqht with me. im tired of beinq hurt. ie do have feelinqs and im sad everytime we fiqht. ryte nw, ie just wan to b happy but sadly, everyone is just wantinq to hurt me time and aqain. ie lost my mum's love and someone too. both my top priority. thanks ehq. ie wished ie could have both back. but, arqh. its over. yst, ie had fun with wan. went out with him. everytime he is with me, ie smile. bt only abit off yst when he went buy thinq for his mum. then ie sat down, think tt if only my mum wasnt like this to me then maybe ie could also qet smtq for her. hais. then when he texted me tt hes home, awhile ltr ie went online aft dad talked t me. suddenly he said he qot thinq want tell me. he said tt he have not fallen deeply in love with me and he not ready to be with me. ie was like ok. but no words can express my feelinqs at tt moment. dk? ie jst felt like he wasnt interested at me at all. and he is playinq around with me. ie now scared he will be like other quys. its all my fault for playinq with fire. tt person said tt he felt like he took me away from afan. pls lah, how many times must ie say ie already dont love afan. if ie want now also ie can qo meet afan bt ie dont want t cus ie qave my heart to him alr. then ie tired of fiqhtinq alr, ie told him ie wn qo sleep. cried t sleep. woke up at 805am exactly and straiqht away called him to check on him. he's workinq today and scared tt he havent woke up. he dint answer then he called back. he said hello then ie said hello. he nvr reply for v lonq so ie put down. then ie text him, "da anqun lum?". he woke up alr. then ie went bck sleep. 1:28pm, Mum called her again; nvm, lets continue. he then texted me around 10 sayinq sorry bout yst thinqy. bt ie was chill-ed alr. not hurt anymore. bt then just nw he called me at 1216, we talked. then abt yst thinq came out. ie said ie couldnt trust him cus ie find him not sincere and he kept thinq from me. for v lonq he wanted tell me bt yst onlie he told me. hais. thanks alot. then we talked and he say only dont want fiqht bt end up? herms, then aft that we texted each other cus he werkinq. meanwhile, ie texted mum ie said, "Happy Mothers Day, Ily." cus ie scared if ie say alot she mls nk entertain. then she said ty, u should know dad and me love all the children the same. and she said she treat KakLyah like own child cus she qt no family, hope ie understand. so she tryinq to say WHAT? tt im not tt important? arqh. best! then ie said t her, ie felt left out in the family and ie dint buy nitink for her but ill qive her some of my pay when ie start werkinq and all she replied was TY. wth? ty jeh? tts nt the mother ie know. she would always reply me lonq2 and say smtq sweet and funny. bt nw? hais. then the other person pulak laqy satu. makinq me stress. ie said ie dowan force him. bt he say im nt. bt after what he said, ie felt like ie am. what t do? hais. ie stress uh. ie just want him t know tt ie love him and ie wont basted him bt its up t him what he want. yst at bridqe road, he asked me two qns. "You love me?" and "If ie go Ns wll ue wait?" arqh. see? who dont trust who? whos the one whos always anqry and findinq fault? me or ue? stop blaminq me. soon ie start werk, ie dont need t stress myself at home. and wan cant find fault w me anymore. tts the reason y ie chose t qo werk. ie want keep myself busy and let qo of everythinq. maybe they'll be happier that ie wont dsterb their life. im sorry if ie cant be perfect enouqh for ue quys. btw, for ur info he may be my ex bt ie dont consider jerks as one. ue thouqht ue were the only quy? well, as far as im concerned ive only had one true ex, ayie. no more. im nt lyinq. well, ue qt many more qerls. aft and before ayie, all the quys were just not real love but now when ie found ue, im qlad. ie would have lost contact with ue if ie wanted cus im nt interested in quys and r/sp but ur just like the perfect one im lookinq for and now...

IE HAVE ONLY YOU.

out with wan bby (:

just now went meet wan at kovan mrt, he was late for 30 minutes. nvm tt, mum dint talk t me aqain. only asked if ie qt money. went t bank at 130 so its closed alr. close at 1. so earlyyyyy. ie went t walk t kovan mrt waited for so lonq and he reached aft 230. best pe. kena paitao for so lonq. then jave called the moment wan reached. told jave tt ie wasnt waitinq anymore. hais. so sorry for disappointinq everyone. then asked cutecute t explain t afan. herms aft wan took out money, we took 80 and went bridqe road cus he want eat. then qo buqis, he bouqht two shirts for himself. then he bouqht me a dress. haiyo, ie thouqht 5 bucks skalie the person said, 26bucks. ie dont wanna buy but he insisted. haiyo. then went town meet his friends, he see thinqs. bouqht perfume for his mother. ie sat outside the shop, nk nanqes psl ie tqk dyeh sweet nah dqn mak dyeh. and he's really lookinq forward t mother's day but me like idk what like tt. bsok mothers day bt me and mum drift. ie sedeh. ie jealous tqk wan. then he came outside and then he ask me y ie bad mood, but ie donnoe how t tell him. hais. ie wish my family was like other family too. wan send me bck home. thanks bby, ily for every moment ue spend with me today. saw aidil and kak ida. wasehhh aidil, still e same. second tyme he saw me with wan. haha. senyum jek ny aidil. kak ida became fatter (:

happy finally.

its already 5am, woke up at three just nw. cant sleep. ie had t offline with wan just nw at 1 cus ie was feelinq so super tired from cryinq! felt sleepy so went offline. sorry bby. now ie feelinq abit happy cus ie am nt thinkinq bout just now incident. ie dont wish to cus nnti ie down laqy. yst, ie was super sad. wan not there. sab nt there. they're very important t me and ie wanted t share t them esp wan. bt they were workinq. so ie had to pour everythinq out here bt it made me feel worst. so, ie texted SA and asked to call me. SA finally called aft a while and at tt point of time ie nearly burst but ie controlled cus dad and brother suddenly came and hanq around my place and im lack of privacy! * Anqry * ie thouqht they would leave 5 minutes ltr and ie asked SA t hold on. but, they still stood there for very lonq. the funny thinq is tt dad could still sit infront of me when he actually saw me talkinq otp, like want t keypoh like tt. so, ie went out of the hse and sat at 238 and there ie just cried and cried and talked t SA. ie said tt ie felt left out. ie was freakinq sad. and SA asked me if ie wanted t come down Tamp. bt ie told SA, ie wasnt even feelinq qood enouqh to qo back hm to take my ezlink, ie just wanna b alone. then, talked and talked. and SA said it was the first time SA saw/hear me this down. and cryinq. * paiseh * im so like crybby. SA thouqht ie was a cheerful type. hais. SA dunnoe how to console me as our family backqrounds are diff and SA hasnt qone thru this before. but its okey, thanks SA for listeninq to my membebel for once. haha, thank God you are here. its the second tyme ue said, ue saw me sad. ferst was bcus of Wan and yst cus of family. yes sey, yq psl Wan, SA webcam with me and ie like so damn stress  but SA was there. yst, when ie asked SA to call, ue did. hais. thanks alot SA, ily. now cant sleep, called Lisha and talked t her for only 6mins? she said she went town just nw with Wan and she wanted me t taq alonq actually. ie also wanted text her actually. haha, no fate. we were thinkinq of each other coincidentally but the thinq is we didnt appear in front of each other in real life. missed lisha. haha, my bad girl! went thru lots of thinqs up and down, ehq lisha? ill come meet ue soon babe (: hais. ie miss my past times when lisha, nabilah, shakilah, asiqah and the rest were toqether. tpy sumerh da ite, and doinq their own thinqs now. and now so busy with their mataer. SUMERH LUPE AKU! yst called nabilah, and as usual OSCAR, her boyfriend. hais, when will someone actually stop and look at me? ie think im lack of attention. later on meetinq Wan qo buqis, he's qot his pay alr. He wants t buy me stuff but actually ie dont feel qood abt it, cus im nt like those qerls who take quy money. But ie dont mind spendinq my money on him. Haha, tebalik pulak! ie am actually missinq him ryte nw, and ie just want t qive him a call but his tired and he needs some sleep. tk baik kan kacau orq yq tqh tido. herms, ill just wait for his text. ie saw him online bt ie quess he did not siqn out. oh ya! just nw my convo with lisha ...
Lisha : Nanti aku kluar nqan mak aku q town ! Abeh kau ?
Nana : Aku kluar q Buqis nqan Wan (:
Silence for a moment ?
Nana : Wan kawan aku , ukan mataer kau !
Lisha : * laughs *
takot nah ny lisha. hais, ie actually cant believe tt ie havent told her abt my love life. we were so close but ie havent told her a thinq abt Wan. soon kaey babe! when im free ie will. sure, ie will sleep over ur hse soon. now feelinq scared actually, idk. ie scared Wan tk suke my pranqai cus just nw ie told him abt runaway thinq and ie always say tt he has new qirl. im scared he will just b pissed off by me. idk whats wronq with me. 5:29am, just texted Wan . " cant slip , imy " haha, serious la, imy. he is my everythinq in this worldddd and ie love you bie. Shine Aelys, thanks for the advice and im sorry today dint qo down tpy to find ue quys. ie was tired. now, im qonna off my lappy before any one of my family members wakes up and thinks tt im crazy bloqqinq in the morninq. Bby, see how much ie love ue till ur pic is stuck up there. (:
COULD YOU COME AND HUG ME PLS, I MISS YOU BBY (:

Stress .

hais. ie dk why they even want me out when ie was in there when ie seem nothinq in their eyes now. if ie knew ie should just stay in there and not go out maybe they'll be happier. went to eat and buy stuffs with my parents. firstly, ie dont talk to dad but it seems like just nw mum keep askinq me to qo to him whereas she already knew how ie felt towards my dad. ie felt very hurt when she kept pushinq me to him. arqh, dont feel like stayinq at home anymore. both my brothers just want me t be perfect, too strict to me. but its okey cus most of the time they're at camp and they dont really bother my life. ie have no mood t talk t anybody. cus ie just wanna cry alone. ie dont need anyone t comfort me. wan busy with work and ie also dont want t call him cryinq. nvm, ill jsut b alone ryte nw. he is workinq and will only be back home at ard 11- 12. hais. nobody will understand what im qq thru ryte nw. nvr felt left out before like this. tts y ie dont want t qo home. haha, Nana kan invisible. ryte nw, im independent. ie can do thinqs on my own w/o my parents askinq me to. bt, ie still dont understand my mum. wow, bpk qnie then mak mcm qnie. im at dinninq hall alone, not like other days. mum always there for me. shes talkinq to the rest upstair in KakWidya room. ie really have no mood for anythinq, for now and maybe for the followinq days. arqh, Sab, ie just wanna continue stayinq with ue. forever laah. when ie was inside last tyme, mum said tt she wanted me t stay at Tamp hse bt nw when im happy over here thinqs happen. idk what ie should do riqht nw, im stuck. ie could qo bck my old ways if ie wanted t bt ie choose nt to cus im sick of ppl talkinq bout me. its all my past, ie wanna start afresh. ie should not have followed them there if ie knew this would happen. hais. what a life. better off dead. arqh, dont talk t me. im in no mood. sorry people.

You Will Always Be My Baby

MUHD SYAZWAN, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE DOES LOVE YOU.

okey this is specially for you my beloved dinosaur (: 1150pm

today ie was thankful tt ue could actually meet me, sorry tt ue had t meet me though ur father was like in tt condition. i love you bby. it is okey even if ue didnt follow me to lavenda and suntec cus ie also dont want t tire ue. yst ue had t go t work ryte? well, actually ie am feeling very tired but ie wanted t make this post specially for ue my bby dinosaur. im sorrie if ie always make ue angry by accusing ue with other girls. i dont mean it actually. you have t control your anger towards me. & thank god your patient. ie think if you were like other guys they would have slapped me. but still ue are patient towards me. bby, ue sooooo smelly! have ue taken ur shower in the morning? haha. ie love ue no matter what. thanks for being a correct directory for today, at least ie reached to my correct destination not like the other time at paya lebar. haha. are ue nt worried tt if ie start working at suntec then ue will have no chance to look at girls. haha! bby, as each day passes, everytime im with you. ie feel very happy. ie just wanna stay by your side at all times. and thats why ie do want to stay overnight with ue at pasir ris. ie dont mind if im tired or anything. im with you, nothing esle matters. even though we just sat at that place the whole time we met up today, it wasnt boring at all. ie was happy that ie could spend and waste tyme with you today as yst ue couldnt meet me up. ie missed ue badly yst at home. hehe. bby, ie have never let other guys mess up my hair before. only ue, since ur hair short and ie pity ue. haha, nolah. cus ur the guy who changed me and ue entered my life and changed me. ie cnt wait for saturday. ive always been looking forward for it so stop asking me if ie wanna go out with you. hais, bby ie cnt afford t loose ue. ie do love ue. sorry if ie aint perfect for ue. bie, nyarie ue tk smoke whols day kan? im proud of ue. ily. bby, tk manis kan gerl isap rokok? so im manis ryte? ie wanna be a good gerl, just for you. must rmbr kaey, 20april ; xchanqe num, 23 april ; first meet. if forqet means ue qot new qerl! hehe. lonq enough?

WAN'NANA LOVESTORY(:

imy.

Just came back from eating at cofeeshop. Wahhh, syg wan uhs! Went out at around 1 am, and told wan tt ie had to go ferst. Kxian dyeh ie go offline. Then makan and came back home, still online. haha, & he said waiting for me. but rabak, ask me send pic. ie send t him and then he straightaway offline. ugh, tkpe. there's always tmrw. ily bby dinosaur. (: Nana Syg Wan !

Syazwan, ILY.

today feeling so tired, these few days keep ggoing out. ie need some rest. ive got photos to upload but its with the stupid akia. lol, smlm pegy bugis shopping with my dearest sabby then went tpy met akiah, BIEIESHERSTAR, SHINEAELYS, SINTRICKSY. haha. didnt intend t smoke, but sherstar offered, so ie smoke around 2 sticks ajeh! when we were sitting at skypark, this inconsiderate fellow threw plasticbags of idk what from his house t the place we were sitting. wahhhh so we had t move t another place and as we walk we disturb couples yg sedang dating kat tempat kite. lol. then sin and aelys went t jalan2, so it was me and sherstar. then akiah came with the couples and straightaway the couples left when akiah came down. we three also went off. followed akiah go psris wanna meet her friends then lmbt sgt so ie pon nk jmpe ie nye bby so ie jalan dulu. kxian bby aku tk isap rkk the whole day so ie bought winston for him. stupid 711 mintak ic, aq blom 18 so ie couldnt buy. belik kt inter jeh. then bought mac untok dyeh and straightaway go down cthall. hais, wrindu dyeh laah. hes not angry with me anymore! sayang wan laah, no one else. then smpi saner at 815, tk jalan shortcut g longway(: then smpi saner jeh, tngu dyeh then suddenly dyeh pop out from nowhere ckp magic. what only ue! then kiterh g ddk tmpt keje dyeh nye blakang. ie like his bini alr. haha, mataer blom. then he asked me why ie cry, is it bcus of the saat kau pergi song? haha. *paiseh* then, we talk all the way. then his workfriend came and smoke, talk t wan. hais. imy laah. then he went back his workplace aft break. waited for him at our place at the mean time. then he came, sit down beside me. tgk "movie" then went t take bus home. wahhhhh what a long journey with him for the first time. slalu naeq mrt then he wont lyn me as there will be many ppl. but yst he entertained me all the way. nyanyinyanyi with no voice but actions. cute lah dyeh nie. then he sed me back home, buy drink. sit under block talk for a while. then before ie went up (: bby ie love ue more than anything. ie guess ive made the right choice by choosing you. bby, dont gatal2 okie!

5May2010

For Special.

SYAZWAN FORGIVE ME.
now your gone, thanks for everything that you've done for me. sacrificed for me. the laughter you brought to me. the smile that you put across my face. every single thing tt you've done, i will never forget. it will be etched in my heart and mind. i am sorry for not being able to make you happy. instead, i have hurt you. i know you want me t be happy, thanks for that. but when everything happen yesterday, ie suddenly went blank. when ie went to meet afan yst, ie felt happy. obviously. cus ie havent me her for like a month alr. ie told her bout you. and then when we talked things out, i realize tt she still love me, so ie cant possibly basterd her ryte? and tt moment ie felt like so stressed up. tts y ie told ue not t cntct me anymore. but idk if im even serious in what i saying. lagypon when ue call me ie nk mkn. tts y ie cnt talk. then when ie texted you, ue teros tk lyn. ie felt like WTH, binget uhs. ie made ue go far away from me. its my fault. ie miss the day at this pic. everything seemed perfect. ie miss those times with you. ie rmbr telling you not t smoke infront of me and ue threw away the cigg. and the 4 sticks. so much memories. but everything change in just a day, its all my fault. now, im just hoping you cool down. u cant stop me from crying cus i am a very fragile person. like ie said, your the one who opened my heart for guys. ie just lost somebody tt was so good to me. its all my fault. ie know tt one day ie will loose afan. ie can feel it. now nana tkde wan, soon nana pon tkde afan. when both tkde, ie guess ie have t stand up on my own alone. ue said ue werent gonna be like other guys, but it proved so much tt ue are. ur just like them who throw girls away just like tt. right nw, ie am just wishing tt ie could see ue smile once again. and the phone to ring. but its over like ue said. hais. ive never seen someone so hard hearted lyke ue before. why. nana bodoh uh kau. imysm. ue lied t me, kate nk hug? instead kene hurt ade uh. ie told ue before tt ur the most important t me. first priority is ue and my mum. bt ue just left without letting me explain. ie just want ue t know, that ie love you, wan. ie love you. ie cnt forget ue. please forgive me. hais. none can replace you. sorry uh tadie tk mkn, psl ue binget ie tkde mood nk mkn. ie felt angry actually cus ue treat me like nothing. mcm invisible. sedeh uh. omg. special, imy. dont be angry, nnti cpat tue.

Tamp & Hagendaz (:

JB.