my true feelings.

11pm otp with you;
DEAREST WAN,
1. Why am I always quarelling with Wan?
2. What am I doing with guys pdhl i hate guys?
3. Why am I and dad like strangers?
4. What am I to Wan?
5. Am I ready for r/sp?
6. Should I change cus i want ppl to accept me?
7. What is love?
8. Do these ppl even need me?
Wan. I know you love me. I do too but suddenly i felt different cus i just feel we are not meant t be. You and i are like two different people. You love sweet gerls & just too bad, i am not. My life is filled with black dots. I am not good. You dont like it but why are you still sticking around me. I just cant bear to hurt you by making you wait for me to change. I just know tt it'll take a superrr long time. Eversince you said abt my attitude we have been quarreling. Ie am tired. I want t be happy. Yes u do make me happy bt its been long since u last put a smile on my face. I da tk happy. Instead im always STRESSED UP. Alaaaa, im just nt the perfect gerl your looking for. Why cant ue accept the way i am. Ie just read ur facebook just nw. U wrote smtg abt my attitude. Ah, Whatever. Ie can forgive but nvr foget what u said t me. Its very hurting. Well, ie guess ie just dowanna b in a r/sp nw. Ie da malas uh cus ppl cant accept me. Ie mean if ue love or like me, well accept me the way ie am. Yesterday, ue feel like crying cus ue saw ur exdate. Herms, still think abt other gerls. Well, ie will think abt other guys then. Bt pls, im not that type of gerl, ie dont flirt around. Best friends only. The guys who claim t like me, ie dont even know if they are serious. Well, senang je. Nk, stick, tnk brambos. I dont know, being in love is just temporary. I dont mind ppl not loving me. Im just a simple gerl. Yeap, thats what ie am. I love the ppl who accept me. The best thing bout ue is that ue always dont layan my mesg-es and calls when ue angry w me. Ie feel like ue are such an unpredictable guy, come and go. It makes me feel so insecure. One day, you'll just leave me just like tt like other guys. Idk what t do. Ie wish ue were here now. U, where are you? imysm. i have no one else.

LastdayOfApril

Today ie woke up morning at 6, just to tell mum tt ie gg out Ite Macp to take entry test. Arghhh. Asked for ezlink psl da tkde duet. Bank got money ahhhh but if everytime take out pokai seh. Mampos! Then mummy asked if ie got duet blanje. Ie actually dowan take money from her but she give me, then ie take. So, aft that actually wanted sleep but mesg SA tnye sal entry test for ite but SA said ie must have nlevel at least tpi ie tkdeh! So ie tk g ite mac bt meet Akyie at AMK to lepak. Haiyo, kecoh pe. Ckp ie mcm minahrep. WTH! org change alr, still nk comment. But nvm, lucky he nvr say harshly. Took mrt to amk. Smpi saner jmpe at waterfountain at amk. He's always late when he meet me. Aseq ade hal jehs. Nyarie pon. We go sit under void deck, talk. He offer me cigg but ie nvr smoke. One puff jeh. What Akyie said is true, Why Am I Even Trying To Change? Just be who i am. Then go jalan2 at Amk, we laughed alot. Went back to void deck he angry with me cus ie always kacau him until he angry then ie syiok sendirik take pic with his cap. Haha, want take pic with him then he angry. Then at around 6 we fight again then he walk off. I follow him and he send me bustop. Ie call Wan ask him if he want meet me but he dont want. Aiyo! Ie go home lor and ie drop wrong stop. SA at least have the heart to call me cus ie ask SA call me and we talked so long. Ie go buy Green Milk Tea, penat tau walk from Srgn to Hgg. Nvm, SA ily laah teman me otp. Then go home, mum sick. Ie stress ah, binget. Fuckkkkk uh, bising ah! Tmrw gg JB super lazy seyh. For wad sia go there. Take bus somemore. Ie malas man. Tadi ie terperasan tt dad looked at me and ie look away kite cam stranger seyh. Ie nk dok dlm laah. Out here siannnnn. Binget ah. These few days pon ie ASEQASEQ gadoh ngan wan. Well, like ie said t him before, siape yg dtg rumah ie mesti smtg happen. Nie lagy kiterh lom mataer. Asl eh? Ie stress ah! Kalau leh nk matie skg jgak. Malas uh nk g skola, nk aleq pon no mood. Ie just want t be alone. Wan, im tired of fighting. Your nt the person ie knew in the first place. SA cpat online! 10pm