happy finally.

its already 5am, woke up at three just nw. cant sleep. ie had t offline with wan just nw at 1 cus ie was feelinq so super tired from cryinq! felt sleepy so went offline. sorry bby. now ie feelinq abit happy cus ie am nt thinkinq bout just now incident. ie dont wish to cus nnti ie down laqy. yst, ie was super sad. wan not there. sab nt there. they're very important t me and ie wanted t share t them esp wan. bt they were workinq. so ie had to pour everythinq out here bt it made me feel worst. so, ie texted SA and asked to call me. SA finally called aft a while and at tt point of time ie nearly burst but ie controlled cus dad and brother suddenly came and hanq around my place and im lack of privacy! * Anqry * ie thouqht they would leave 5 minutes ltr and ie asked SA t hold on. but, they still stood there for very lonq. the funny thinq is tt dad could still sit infront of me when he actually saw me talkinq otp, like want t keypoh like tt. so, ie went out of the hse and sat at 238 and there ie just cried and cried and talked t SA. ie said tt ie felt left out. ie was freakinq sad. and SA asked me if ie wanted t come down Tamp. bt ie told SA, ie wasnt even feelinq qood enouqh to qo back hm to take my ezlink, ie just wanna b alone. then, talked and talked. and SA said it was the first time SA saw/hear me this down. and cryinq. * paiseh * im so like crybby. SA thouqht ie was a cheerful type. hais. SA dunnoe how to console me as our family backqrounds are diff and SA hasnt qone thru this before. but its okey, thanks SA for listeninq to my membebel for once. haha, thank God you are here. its the second tyme ue said, ue saw me sad. ferst was bcus of Wan and yst cus of family. yes sey, yq psl Wan, SA webcam with me and ie like so damn stress  but SA was there. yst, when ie asked SA to call, ue did. hais. thanks alot SA, ily. now cant sleep, called Lisha and talked t her for only 6mins? she said she went town just nw with Wan and she wanted me t taq alonq actually. ie also wanted text her actually. haha, no fate. we were thinkinq of each other coincidentally but the thinq is we didnt appear in front of each other in real life. missed lisha. haha, my bad girl! went thru lots of thinqs up and down, ehq lisha? ill come meet ue soon babe (: hais. ie miss my past times when lisha, nabilah, shakilah, asiqah and the rest were toqether. tpy sumerh da ite, and doinq their own thinqs now. and now so busy with their mataer. SUMERH LUPE AKU! yst called nabilah, and as usual OSCAR, her boyfriend. hais, when will someone actually stop and look at me? ie think im lack of attention. later on meetinq Wan qo buqis, he's qot his pay alr. He wants t buy me stuff but actually ie dont feel qood abt it, cus im nt like those qerls who take quy money. But ie dont mind spendinq my money on him. Haha, tebalik pulak! ie am actually missinq him ryte nw, and ie just want t qive him a call but his tired and he needs some sleep. tk baik kan kacau orq yq tqh tido. herms, ill just wait for his text. ie saw him online bt ie quess he did not siqn out. oh ya! just nw my convo with lisha ...
Lisha : Nanti aku kluar nqan mak aku q town ! Abeh kau ?
Nana : Aku kluar q Buqis nqan Wan (:
Silence for a moment ?
Nana : Wan kawan aku , ukan mataer kau !
Lisha : * laughs *
takot nah ny lisha. hais, ie actually cant believe tt ie havent told her abt my love life. we were so close but ie havent told her a thinq abt Wan. soon kaey babe! when im free ie will. sure, ie will sleep over ur hse soon. now feelinq scared actually, idk. ie scared Wan tk suke my pranqai cus just nw ie told him abt runaway thinq and ie always say tt he has new qirl. im scared he will just b pissed off by me. idk whats wronq with me. 5:29am, just texted Wan . " cant slip , imy " haha, serious la, imy. he is my everythinq in this worldddd and ie love you bie. Shine Aelys, thanks for the advice and im sorry today dint qo down tpy to find ue quys. ie was tired. now, im qonna off my lappy before any one of my family members wakes up and thinks tt im crazy bloqqinq in the morninq. Bby, see how much ie love ue till ur pic is stuck up there. (:
COULD YOU COME AND HUG ME PLS, I MISS YOU BBY (:

Stress .

hais. ie dk why they even want me out when ie was in there when ie seem nothinq in their eyes now. if ie knew ie should just stay in there and not go out maybe they'll be happier. went to eat and buy stuffs with my parents. firstly, ie dont talk to dad but it seems like just nw mum keep askinq me to qo to him whereas she already knew how ie felt towards my dad. ie felt very hurt when she kept pushinq me to him. arqh, dont feel like stayinq at home anymore. both my brothers just want me t be perfect, too strict to me. but its okey cus most of the time they're at camp and they dont really bother my life. ie have no mood t talk t anybody. cus ie just wanna cry alone. ie dont need anyone t comfort me. wan busy with work and ie also dont want t call him cryinq. nvm, ill jsut b alone ryte nw. he is workinq and will only be back home at ard 11- 12. hais. nobody will understand what im qq thru ryte nw. nvr felt left out before like this. tts y ie dont want t qo home. haha, Nana kan invisible. ryte nw, im independent. ie can do thinqs on my own w/o my parents askinq me to. bt, ie still dont understand my mum. wow, bpk qnie then mak mcm qnie. im at dinninq hall alone, not like other days. mum always there for me. shes talkinq to the rest upstair in KakWidya room. ie really have no mood for anythinq, for now and maybe for the followinq days. arqh, Sab, ie just wanna continue stayinq with ue. forever laah. when ie was inside last tyme, mum said tt she wanted me t stay at Tamp hse bt nw when im happy over here thinqs happen. idk what ie should do riqht nw, im stuck. ie could qo bck my old ways if ie wanted t bt ie choose nt to cus im sick of ppl talkinq bout me. its all my past, ie wanna start afresh. ie should not have followed them there if ie knew this would happen. hais. what a life. better off dead. arqh, dont talk t me. im in no mood. sorry people.

You Will Always Be My Baby

MUHD SYAZWAN, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE DOES LOVE YOU.

okey this is specially for you my beloved dinosaur (: 1150pm

today ie was thankful tt ue could actually meet me, sorry tt ue had t meet me though ur father was like in tt condition. i love you bby. it is okey even if ue didnt follow me to lavenda and suntec cus ie also dont want t tire ue. yst ue had t go t work ryte? well, actually ie am feeling very tired but ie wanted t make this post specially for ue my bby dinosaur. im sorrie if ie always make ue angry by accusing ue with other girls. i dont mean it actually. you have t control your anger towards me. & thank god your patient. ie think if you were like other guys they would have slapped me. but still ue are patient towards me. bby, ue sooooo smelly! have ue taken ur shower in the morning? haha. ie love ue no matter what. thanks for being a correct directory for today, at least ie reached to my correct destination not like the other time at paya lebar. haha. are ue nt worried tt if ie start working at suntec then ue will have no chance to look at girls. haha! bby, as each day passes, everytime im with you. ie feel very happy. ie just wanna stay by your side at all times. and thats why ie do want to stay overnight with ue at pasir ris. ie dont mind if im tired or anything. im with you, nothing esle matters. even though we just sat at that place the whole time we met up today, it wasnt boring at all. ie was happy that ie could spend and waste tyme with you today as yst ue couldnt meet me up. ie missed ue badly yst at home. hehe. bby, ie have never let other guys mess up my hair before. only ue, since ur hair short and ie pity ue. haha, nolah. cus ur the guy who changed me and ue entered my life and changed me. ie cnt wait for saturday. ive always been looking forward for it so stop asking me if ie wanna go out with you. hais, bby ie cnt afford t loose ue. ie do love ue. sorry if ie aint perfect for ue. bie, nyarie ue tk smoke whols day kan? im proud of ue. ily. bby, tk manis kan gerl isap rokok? so im manis ryte? ie wanna be a good gerl, just for you. must rmbr kaey, 20april ; xchanqe num, 23 april ; first meet. if forqet means ue qot new qerl! hehe. lonq enough?

WAN'NANA LOVESTORY(:

imy.

Just came back from eating at cofeeshop. Wahhh, syg wan uhs! Went out at around 1 am, and told wan tt ie had to go ferst. Kxian dyeh ie go offline. Then makan and came back home, still online. haha, & he said waiting for me. but rabak, ask me send pic. ie send t him and then he straightaway offline. ugh, tkpe. there's always tmrw. ily bby dinosaur. (: Nana Syg Wan !

Syazwan, ILY.

today feeling so tired, these few days keep ggoing out. ie need some rest. ive got photos to upload but its with the stupid akia. lol, smlm pegy bugis shopping with my dearest sabby then went tpy met akiah, BIEIESHERSTAR, SHINEAELYS, SINTRICKSY. haha. didnt intend t smoke, but sherstar offered, so ie smoke around 2 sticks ajeh! when we were sitting at skypark, this inconsiderate fellow threw plasticbags of idk what from his house t the place we were sitting. wahhhh so we had t move t another place and as we walk we disturb couples yg sedang dating kat tempat kite. lol. then sin and aelys went t jalan2, so it was me and sherstar. then akiah came with the couples and straightaway the couples left when akiah came down. we three also went off. followed akiah go psris wanna meet her friends then lmbt sgt so ie pon nk jmpe ie nye bby so ie jalan dulu. kxian bby aku tk isap rkk the whole day so ie bought winston for him. stupid 711 mintak ic, aq blom 18 so ie couldnt buy. belik kt inter jeh. then bought mac untok dyeh and straightaway go down cthall. hais, wrindu dyeh laah. hes not angry with me anymore! sayang wan laah, no one else. then smpi saner at 815, tk jalan shortcut g longway(: then smpi saner jeh, tngu dyeh then suddenly dyeh pop out from nowhere ckp magic. what only ue! then kiterh g ddk tmpt keje dyeh nye blakang. ie like his bini alr. haha, mataer blom. then he asked me why ie cry, is it bcus of the saat kau pergi song? haha. *paiseh* then, we talk all the way. then his workfriend came and smoke, talk t wan. hais. imy laah. then he went back his workplace aft break. waited for him at our place at the mean time. then he came, sit down beside me. tgk "movie" then went t take bus home. wahhhhh what a long journey with him for the first time. slalu naeq mrt then he wont lyn me as there will be many ppl. but yst he entertained me all the way. nyanyinyanyi with no voice but actions. cute lah dyeh nie. then he sed me back home, buy drink. sit under block talk for a while. then before ie went up (: bby ie love ue more than anything. ie guess ive made the right choice by choosing you. bby, dont gatal2 okie!

5May2010

For Special.

SYAZWAN FORGIVE ME.
now your gone, thanks for everything that you've done for me. sacrificed for me. the laughter you brought to me. the smile that you put across my face. every single thing tt you've done, i will never forget. it will be etched in my heart and mind. i am sorry for not being able to make you happy. instead, i have hurt you. i know you want me t be happy, thanks for that. but when everything happen yesterday, ie suddenly went blank. when ie went to meet afan yst, ie felt happy. obviously. cus ie havent me her for like a month alr. ie told her bout you. and then when we talked things out, i realize tt she still love me, so ie cant possibly basterd her ryte? and tt moment ie felt like so stressed up. tts y ie told ue not t cntct me anymore. but idk if im even serious in what i saying. lagypon when ue call me ie nk mkn. tts y ie cnt talk. then when ie texted you, ue teros tk lyn. ie felt like WTH, binget uhs. ie made ue go far away from me. its my fault. ie miss the day at this pic. everything seemed perfect. ie miss those times with you. ie rmbr telling you not t smoke infront of me and ue threw away the cigg. and the 4 sticks. so much memories. but everything change in just a day, its all my fault. now, im just hoping you cool down. u cant stop me from crying cus i am a very fragile person. like ie said, your the one who opened my heart for guys. ie just lost somebody tt was so good to me. its all my fault. ie know tt one day ie will loose afan. ie can feel it. now nana tkde wan, soon nana pon tkde afan. when both tkde, ie guess ie have t stand up on my own alone. ue said ue werent gonna be like other guys, but it proved so much tt ue are. ur just like them who throw girls away just like tt. right nw, ie am just wishing tt ie could see ue smile once again. and the phone to ring. but its over like ue said. hais. ive never seen someone so hard hearted lyke ue before. why. nana bodoh uh kau. imysm. ue lied t me, kate nk hug? instead kene hurt ade uh. ie told ue before tt ur the most important t me. first priority is ue and my mum. bt ue just left without letting me explain. ie just want ue t know, that ie love you, wan. ie love you. ie cnt forget ue. please forgive me. hais. none can replace you. sorry uh tadie tk mkn, psl ue binget ie tkde mood nk mkn. ie felt angry actually cus ue treat me like nothing. mcm invisible. sedeh uh. omg. special, imy. dont be angry, nnti cpat tue.

Tamp & Hagendaz (: