Syazwan, ILY.

today feeling so tired, these few days keep ggoing out. ie need some rest. ive got photos to upload but its with the stupid akia. lol, smlm pegy bugis shopping with my dearest sabby then went tpy met akiah, BIEIESHERSTAR, SHINEAELYS, SINTRICKSY. haha. didnt intend t smoke, but sherstar offered, so ie smoke around 2 sticks ajeh! when we were sitting at skypark, this inconsiderate fellow threw plasticbags of idk what from his house t the place we were sitting. wahhhh so we had t move t another place and as we walk we disturb couples yg sedang dating kat tempat kite. lol. then sin and aelys went t jalan2, so it was me and sherstar. then akiah came with the couples and straightaway the couples left when akiah came down. we three also went off. followed akiah go psris wanna meet her friends then lmbt sgt so ie pon nk jmpe ie nye bby so ie jalan dulu. kxian bby aku tk isap rkk the whole day so ie bought winston for him. stupid 711 mintak ic, aq blom 18 so ie couldnt buy. belik kt inter jeh. then bought mac untok dyeh and straightaway go down cthall. hais, wrindu dyeh laah. hes not angry with me anymore! sayang wan laah, no one else. then smpi saner at 815, tk jalan shortcut g longway(: then smpi saner jeh, tngu dyeh then suddenly dyeh pop out from nowhere ckp magic. what only ue! then kiterh g ddk tmpt keje dyeh nye blakang. ie like his bini alr. haha, mataer blom. then he asked me why ie cry, is it bcus of the saat kau pergi song? haha. *paiseh* then, we talk all the way. then his workfriend came and smoke, talk t wan. hais. imy laah. then he went back his workplace aft break. waited for him at our place at the mean time. then he came, sit down beside me. tgk "movie" then went t take bus home. wahhhhh what a long journey with him for the first time. slalu naeq mrt then he wont lyn me as there will be many ppl. but yst he entertained me all the way. nyanyinyanyi with no voice but actions. cute lah dyeh nie. then he sed me back home, buy drink. sit under block talk for a while. then before ie went up (: bby ie love ue more than anything. ie guess ive made the right choice by choosing you. bby, dont gatal2 okie!

5May2010

For Special.

SYAZWAN FORGIVE ME.
now your gone, thanks for everything that you've done for me. sacrificed for me. the laughter you brought to me. the smile that you put across my face. every single thing tt you've done, i will never forget. it will be etched in my heart and mind. i am sorry for not being able to make you happy. instead, i have hurt you. i know you want me t be happy, thanks for that. but when everything happen yesterday, ie suddenly went blank. when ie went to meet afan yst, ie felt happy. obviously. cus ie havent me her for like a month alr. ie told her bout you. and then when we talked things out, i realize tt she still love me, so ie cant possibly basterd her ryte? and tt moment ie felt like so stressed up. tts y ie told ue not t cntct me anymore. but idk if im even serious in what i saying. lagypon when ue call me ie nk mkn. tts y ie cnt talk. then when ie texted you, ue teros tk lyn. ie felt like WTH, binget uhs. ie made ue go far away from me. its my fault. ie miss the day at this pic. everything seemed perfect. ie miss those times with you. ie rmbr telling you not t smoke infront of me and ue threw away the cigg. and the 4 sticks. so much memories. but everything change in just a day, its all my fault. now, im just hoping you cool down. u cant stop me from crying cus i am a very fragile person. like ie said, your the one who opened my heart for guys. ie just lost somebody tt was so good to me. its all my fault. ie know tt one day ie will loose afan. ie can feel it. now nana tkde wan, soon nana pon tkde afan. when both tkde, ie guess ie have t stand up on my own alone. ue said ue werent gonna be like other guys, but it proved so much tt ue are. ur just like them who throw girls away just like tt. right nw, ie am just wishing tt ie could see ue smile once again. and the phone to ring. but its over like ue said. hais. ive never seen someone so hard hearted lyke ue before. why. nana bodoh uh kau. imysm. ue lied t me, kate nk hug? instead kene hurt ade uh. ie told ue before tt ur the most important t me. first priority is ue and my mum. bt ue just left without letting me explain. ie just want ue t know, that ie love you, wan. ie love you. ie cnt forget ue. please forgive me. hais. none can replace you. sorry uh tadie tk mkn, psl ue binget ie tkde mood nk mkn. ie felt angry actually cus ue treat me like nothing. mcm invisible. sedeh uh. omg. special, imy. dont be angry, nnti cpat tue.

Tamp & Hagendaz (:

JB.

my true feelings.

11pm otp with you;
DEAREST WAN,
1. Why am I always quarelling with Wan?
2. What am I doing with guys pdhl i hate guys?
3. Why am I and dad like strangers?
4. What am I to Wan?
5. Am I ready for r/sp?
6. Should I change cus i want ppl to accept me?
7. What is love?
8. Do these ppl even need me?
Wan. I know you love me. I do too but suddenly i felt different cus i just feel we are not meant t be. You and i are like two different people. You love sweet gerls & just too bad, i am not. My life is filled with black dots. I am not good. You dont like it but why are you still sticking around me. I just cant bear to hurt you by making you wait for me to change. I just know tt it'll take a superrr long time. Eversince you said abt my attitude we have been quarreling. Ie am tired. I want t be happy. Yes u do make me happy bt its been long since u last put a smile on my face. I da tk happy. Instead im always STRESSED UP. Alaaaa, im just nt the perfect gerl your looking for. Why cant ue accept the way i am. Ie just read ur facebook just nw. U wrote smtg abt my attitude. Ah, Whatever. Ie can forgive but nvr foget what u said t me. Its very hurting. Well, ie guess ie just dowanna b in a r/sp nw. Ie da malas uh cus ppl cant accept me. Ie mean if ue love or like me, well accept me the way ie am. Yesterday, ue feel like crying cus ue saw ur exdate. Herms, still think abt other gerls. Well, ie will think abt other guys then. Bt pls, im not that type of gerl, ie dont flirt around. Best friends only. The guys who claim t like me, ie dont even know if they are serious. Well, senang je. Nk, stick, tnk brambos. I dont know, being in love is just temporary. I dont mind ppl not loving me. Im just a simple gerl. Yeap, thats what ie am. I love the ppl who accept me. The best thing bout ue is that ue always dont layan my mesg-es and calls when ue angry w me. Ie feel like ue are such an unpredictable guy, come and go. It makes me feel so insecure. One day, you'll just leave me just like tt like other guys. Idk what t do. Ie wish ue were here now. U, where are you? imysm. i have no one else.

LastdayOfApril

Today ie woke up morning at 6, just to tell mum tt ie gg out Ite Macp to take entry test. Arghhh. Asked for ezlink psl da tkde duet. Bank got money ahhhh but if everytime take out pokai seh. Mampos! Then mummy asked if ie got duet blanje. Ie actually dowan take money from her but she give me, then ie take. So, aft that actually wanted sleep but mesg SA tnye sal entry test for ite but SA said ie must have nlevel at least tpi ie tkdeh! So ie tk g ite mac bt meet Akyie at AMK to lepak. Haiyo, kecoh pe. Ckp ie mcm minahrep. WTH! org change alr, still nk comment. But nvm, lucky he nvr say harshly. Took mrt to amk. Smpi saner jmpe at waterfountain at amk. He's always late when he meet me. Aseq ade hal jehs. Nyarie pon. We go sit under void deck, talk. He offer me cigg but ie nvr smoke. One puff jeh. What Akyie said is true, Why Am I Even Trying To Change? Just be who i am. Then go jalan2 at Amk, we laughed alot. Went back to void deck he angry with me cus ie always kacau him until he angry then ie syiok sendirik take pic with his cap. Haha, want take pic with him then he angry. Then at around 6 we fight again then he walk off. I follow him and he send me bustop. Ie call Wan ask him if he want meet me but he dont want. Aiyo! Ie go home lor and ie drop wrong stop. SA at least have the heart to call me cus ie ask SA call me and we talked so long. Ie go buy Green Milk Tea, penat tau walk from Srgn to Hgg. Nvm, SA ily laah teman me otp. Then go home, mum sick. Ie stress ah, binget. Fuckkkkk uh, bising ah! Tmrw gg JB super lazy seyh. For wad sia go there. Take bus somemore. Ie malas man. Tadi ie terperasan tt dad looked at me and ie look away kite cam stranger seyh. Ie nk dok dlm laah. Out here siannnnn. Binget ah. These few days pon ie ASEQASEQ gadoh ngan wan. Well, like ie said t him before, siape yg dtg rumah ie mesti smtg happen. Nie lagy kiterh lom mataer. Asl eh? Ie stress ah! Kalau leh nk matie skg jgak. Malas uh nk g skola, nk aleq pon no mood. Ie just want t be alone. Wan, im tired of fighting. Your nt the person ie knew in the first place. SA cpat online! 10pm

S A blanje GELARE (:

Nana now feeling tireeeeddd! Im soory Wan for not fetching you tudae cus im lyke SUPER TIRED uhs. Da pki dress, high heels whatever whatever walk ard downtown. Ie v tired seyh. So actually, ie woke up early tudae at 10 plus. Then talked to Wan otp for a while & then go bathe and kua. Wasssehhhh, penat tau tunggu SA at Pasir Ris inter, so talked to Wan otp jaaappp. Wah, while waiting ie lyke dunt feel well. Saqet ahs! Tkpe, skalie ie nmpk SA! pki baju ITE peeeee bby. Haha! Then kiterh nak naeq 3 bt we dunt noe where its leading to. So took another bus gp there. BEN&JERRY tkde seh ): Da tutop. Sedeh pe. Then, SA brought me to EHUB mamam Gelare. Sedap, Chocolate Overload. SA got strawberry cheesecake. Eeee! Nana taste it then rase cam basi jehs! Hmpfh! Took pictures but SA nye hp tk powerrrr uh! Tk clear sey! Go change uh hp! Then Plan came down, meet me. Actually, nk meet mum at giant then can go buy barang2 but Plan with me. So, teman her lor. Kite belik baju three quarters. Warne green and puteh, got star. Wow kape! Dala, aq mls nk pki dress penat uh jadie GERLY GERL! tgk ah klau free2 aru pakai, hehe(: Well, then ie mcm nk rompak jeh nie kedai sia. But naseb iman kuat laahs seyh! NOBODY WAS THERE AT ALL! kecoh. aderh HOtHOt skirt. Got this matrep sia careq psl, WAH fanatic giler. Nana tk heran uhs. Then we went whitesands, met Plan's friend. Lepak. Wow, Nana tk pki stud, tk pki cam minah, bbual rilek for the first time. ( i am not a minah ) Then ie DINT SMOKE excluding the stick that plan offered. aru 1-2 stick jehs. tk byk. nk QUIT! then akyie called me, talk t me. But put down cus ie say ie nvr eat. Herms, he told me tt he nvr cntct any other gerls xcept me. Cnferm pe? Haha. Well, dyeh tuh baeq, slalu there for me when im down. Tpi dyeh SEYH uh, tkde sen tknk jmpe nana. Well, nothing much t say. Im just not ready for a r/sp. Idk ie just prefer being alone but ie dont mind sacrificing things for the person ie love seyh. Ie dont need ppl to love me, bt if they want t go ahead. Wth ie talking mannnnsssxxx. Mabok pe Nana! Agh, im just pissed off w ppl around me. Wah, kxian ah akyie hope he gets money for both his laser and obat. Ie will treasure him before anything happens though he's not even my mataer. Bilerh ny nak bgy chocolate Wan? He's favourite color is blue, wan buy smtg for him ahs. (: ILY. Well, went hm, no food interest me. Ie hate home cooked food. Nk mkn Mac jehs. Then Epul called, ajak minum next friday. See how uhs. Nk change uh bby. Hais. Im tired. Tunggu Wan online berjam2 seyh! Well, ie dont really know if im changing for good. But slowly laahs. Ie am just a normal girl. 1120PM April2910 - if only he was here in my heart -